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"Hello, my darling Richard!" I'm at a loss for words. When I told you about Deborah, particularly after you'd met her unexpectedly, I thought you'd go pear-shaped." I nearly did and then you did it again." Did what?" You told her that I was a particular friend who had helped you through after Rachel died. So then I was all set to blub and ran off to make some coffee for you both. That wasn't the end of it though. I had to remind myself of the promise that I'd made to you and that it was too early to make that sort of judgement. I thought about it yesterday though and wondered whether I ought to introduce you to that lovely Nurse Louise and then I thought: "No, he's had enough women pushed at him and in any case Louise is twenty something years younger and he'll shy away." So I dropped that idea and just decided that I ought to carry on regardless 'cos I was doing what Rachel wanted. I never dreamt that you'd tell me you loved me, but now I know where I stand. You are going to end up. My dad had moved out about a year ago. Their fights had been terrible at the end. Once he yelled at her, "Uptight frigid bitch!" and she cried. I wanted to hit him for saying that, but I wondered what was behind it. She wasn't exactly Ms. Free & Easy.But now as I was rubbing her back, she seemed very sensual. She was breathing deeply, almost purring. I could tell which strokes she liked by the different sounds she made, then I'd do more of those. "Do it there," she'd say, or, "Deeper in there ... harder." I liked pleasing her.The massages got to be a routine with us. She'd have a few drinks after dinner while we watched TV, then about ten o'clock we'd go into her room together.I got a book out of the library to learn to do it better. I had a hard-on almost the whole time I was massaging her. Afterwards, I had lover's nuts — my balls would ache and there'd be a cramp at the base of my cock, the whole thing sore from being hard for so long. I'd jerk off thinking about mom, what her.
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